The truth is out there, and it's humiliating | Stuff.co.nz

The truth is out there, and it's humiliating | Stuff.co.nz: "OPINION: Right now, in a galaxy far, far away, an alien in the latter stages of holiday planning is peering at a map of our planet. His eyes hover over the image of New Zealand, and come to rest on two words. They are 'toilet stop'.

The truth is out there, and it's humiliating. There's a unifying theme emerging from the 2000-plus pages of top-secret reports into UFO sightings released by the Defence Force last week, and it is this: as far as extra-terrestrial life is concerned, we are a pit-stop on the road to nowhere.

Look at the evidence. Other countries get alien abductions by the truckload. But in the more than half a century of contact recorded in the Defence Force X-files, not a single alien has bothered to have any meaningful interaction with us.

Aliens do not want to introduce us to their leader, take us to new civilisations, grill us on the details of our daily lives, or entrust us with grave warnings about the future. They have never given us a ride in their spaceship. They can't even be arsed to mutilate our cattle."